Concerning the traps in fantasy films…

“Let me ask you this. Who maintains these trap mazes? Is it like a pool cleaning service? Does a bunch of teenage boys and illegal immigrants come in a pick-up truck with a trailer, like a lawn mowing crew? No, I really wonder how this works. I’ve seen it in a number of movies but [Dungeons & Dragons] is the first one to do it so badly and unoriginally that I wondered about it the whole time while I watched, bored silly. Elton John the guildmaster said that no one had completed the maze in decades or something to that effect. Presumably somebody had to come in and oil the gears and sharpen the blades in the cusinart room there at the end of that oh-so-extensive three-room labyrinth. They probably advertise in the back of Good Trapkeeping or Drawn & Quarterly or something. I mean, without a team of skilled engineers, these things would simply fall into disrepair if they could be built at all in the first place. Think about the (far, far better done) trapped-filled dungeon in the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark. That big ball of rock just sat up there, precariously balanced, for hundreds of years? Who resets the traps after they’re sprung?”

By Eva Vandergeld, from Genius stuff – check out their review selection!

Published in: on October 31, 2006 at 8:31 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Now whilst this all does make sense indeed, some traps do work. Just look at the pyramids etc., and the bodies of grave robbers found who’d fallen victim to the defence mechanisms 🙂

    Though as for reseting them… gotta agree with that!

  2. Who resets the traps after they’re sprung?
    Henchmen – See Nick Nack in The Man with the Golden Gun
    God-fearing tribesfolk – See the bow & blowpipe wielding fellows in Raiders of the Lost Ark

    also cats. They don’t even have to be the trap-setters’ cats because cats know evil when they see it and are only too happy to lend a paw.

  3. Which leads me to believe that all those bodies you see in the films of people who already unsuccessfully attempted to negotiate the traps were not actually after the prize. They were just cleaners, or something.

    You have a cat fixation, boyo. We have you now.

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